A Beautiful Boy
This essay was first published in Prenatal Partners for Life's newsletter: http://prenatalpartnersforlife.org/
As I reflect on the legacy of my son in my own life, I
can attest that he brought a lot of depth. He helped me reset my expectations,
and his simple, modest life exposed the idols of performance and achievement I
had built. He helped me reflect on what really matters, on the value God places
on “the least of these,” and on what true beauty is: that which delights the
heart and brings out the best in us. No need to perform, no need for good looks
—just a gentle, innocent, and quiet spirit. My son was a beautiful boy in the
true sense of the word.
A Beautiful Boy
My son Caleb was born with trisomy 13 in March of 2010 and
died this May. I could tell you about all his medical problems and the sleepless
nights doing his cares. I could tell you about his profound developmental delay
and all the things he couldn’t do. I could tell you about how we went from a difficult
first year of life, to a few years of good health, and from there to a couple
years of declining health, multiple hospital stays and finally his death. However,
I would be leaving out the most important part: himself.
Caleb was like a song from a secret garden: sweet, serene,
with high and low notes, with quiet moments and those when the intensity rose,
and yes, a tinge of sadness, of melancholy. Caleb’s life was simple: wake up, get
cares, be fed, spend time rolling on the floor, spend time sitting in a wheelchair
while piano music played, or even better yet (from my point of view), in mommy’s
arms. Caleb was surrounded by good people: those of us who loved him from
before he was born, those who cared for him —his nanny, his nurses, his
teachers, his friends. Caleb changed the tone and the beat of our family life
from those of a typical family to those of a family with a special needs child.
*The song that inspired me to write this piece was "Poéme" by Secret Garden
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